Daily Show

However, I would be remiss not to immediately post my thoughts on the one person who may be the most ubiquitous pop culture figure we currently have: Britney Spears.

Ms. Spears is recently most known for shaving her head, crotch shots, a confusing VMA performance and losing, then regaining, then losing, etc. the right to spend time with her two sons.

It’s times like these we must stop and wonder how we got here. Spears busted onto the scene with little warning in 1999, presenting nothing more than a Catholic school uniform, an innocent gaze and an undeniable throaty come on line–”Oh baby, baby.” About eight years and 80 million albums sold later, she is one of the top-selling artists of her time, lasting far longer than those who immediately pegged her as a “one-hit wonder” could ever imagine.

Amidst all the controversy, Spears returns, rather quietly, with her fifth (!) and ingeniously titled studio album–”Blackout.” I’ve already read a number of critics take on the album–and it’s a mixed bag. She’s received some raves (AP) and some pans (Newsday), but almost all critics agree that the album is a showcase of the producers, and not Spears’, talent.

Underestimating Spears is a dangerous proposition. While fellow teen sensations Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera have adjusted to grown-up musical fame by switching to more R&B styles, Spears’ music remains defiantly pop, though more dance oriented than before. It’s mindless, addictive but most importantly fun. It doesn’t matter if Spears actually writes the music (she only helped compose two of the new album’s 12 songs) or how much her voice is manipulated. In the words of the pop star herself “It’s Britney bitch.”

Like most of Britney’s work, the artist (or the people behind her, who cares) subtly taunt the listener with her powers. On “Oops…I Did it Again” Spears flat out admitted with the title that the song was copy-cat of her initial hit “…Baby One More Time,” but still we salivated. “I’m A Slave For You” and “Toxic” are more apt descriptions of her fans’ relationship to the singer than the singer’s own life experience. And on the new single “Gimme More” Spears winks at our distaste for her current exploits, while simultaneously acknowledging that she knows we cannot get enough of them.

Which is how all dance-pop lovers will feel about the album as a whole. There is only one non-uptempo number–a solid Neptunes jam “Why Should I Feel Sad?”–but it’s buried as the album’s finale. Everything up to that point is raucous dance music, usually chronicling various sexual exploits. “Piece of Me” (which sounds 100 times better than the demo version I reviewed earlier) is a genius piece of self-referencing pop, as Britney mocks the tabloid’s infatuation with the mundane aspects of her life. “Break the Ice” finds Spears recreating the infamous “Ah, ah, ah” moment from “Slave.” “Heaven on Earth” is irresistible 80s disco pop, and “Toy Solider” sounds like a coked-out Gwen Stefani song–in the best sense possible.

There are no duds in the album’s 12 songs, and nothing that makes you believe Spears is going anywhere anytime soon.

Celine Dion “Alone”–This Heart cover is a far better effort than first single “Taking Chances,” a bland exercise in adult contemporary pop. Here Dion’s soaring voice tackles a darker track, and the experience is breathtaking. Almost makes us miss “My Hear Will Go On.” Almost.

Mary J. Blige “Just Fine”–This is an unexpectantly jubilant track from a singer we know better for her street ‘cred and heart broken ballads. But Blige has hit the dance floor and the results are charming.

Britney Spears “Piece of Me”–So Britney’s lost custody of her kids, but is she on the verge of losing her music career? Despite her diastrous VMA performance, “Gimme More” sits atop the iTunes singles charts and should catapult up this week’s Billboard Hot 100. Still, she needs more than one hot club banger to claim relevance, and unfortunately “Piece of Me” isn’t it. The lyrics are self absorbed, though sometimes intriguing, but the track is a mess and there is no melody or, even worse, a good club beat.

Piece of Me

Outstanding Comedy Series

30 Rock/Entourage/The Office/Two and a Half Men/Ugly Betty

I love 30 Rock, but I’m probably one of its 30 dedicated viewers, so I doubt the voters will reward a show they probably haven’t even seen. Entourage might be too HBO, The Office won last year, and Two and a Half Men’s nomination shows just how depleted this category has become. That leaves the charming Ugly Betty, which besides being shamelessly and deliciously over the top, is also extremely popular amongst voters. Ugly Betty it is.

Outstanding Drama Series

Boston Legal/Grey’s Anatomy/Heroes/House/The Sopranos

The Academy seems to like Boston Legal, but I still don’t think it has the mass critical support to win. Grey’s Anatomy’s third season, as most of its fans will tell you, was not its best. Heroes would be an inspiring choice, but it usually takes Emmy voters a few years to catch on to new shows. I have a feeling that The Sopranos, which just completed its final season after years of critical and commercial success, will ride off into the sunset with a win here.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)/Ricky Gervais (Extras)/Tony Shalhoub (Monk)/Steve Carell (The Office)/Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men)

A tough category with a lot of talented actors. Shalhoub has won a few Emmys already, including last year’s, so it says here the voters will want to share the wealth. Extras and 30 Rock might be too unique for either Gervais or Balwin to win, and Baldwin’s recent publicity problems could hamper his chances as well. Sheen has a shot, but Steve Carell is a popular actor in a popular show that makes people laugh. I’m going with Carell here.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Tina Fey (30 Rock)/Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives)/Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine)/America Ferrera (Ugly Betty)/Mary Louise-Parker (Weeds)

All these actresses are great, and many of them already have Emmys. But this is the year of Ugly Betty, and I’d be shocked if media darling America Ferrera didn’t win.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Kiefer Sutherland (24)/James Spader (Boston Legal)/Hugh Laurie (House)/Dennis Leary (Rescue Me)/James Gandolfini (The Sopranos)

It’s usually not a good idea to upset either Jack Bauer or Tony Soprano, but both Sutherland and Gandolfini did solid but not their best work this past season. I’d love to see Leary win, but Rescue Me airs on FX, and I just can’t get my head around Boston Legal. That leaves Laurie, who’s for years played one of the most eclectic roles on TV. I’m going with the doctor on this one.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Sally Field (Brothers & Sisters)/Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU)/Patricia Arquette (Medium)/Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer)/Mini Driver (The Riches)/Edie Falco (The Sopranos)

An outstanding group of actresses from a diverse group of shows. Field’s role isn’t “lead” enough for me, Arquette gets an “eh,”Hargitay won last year and Driver’s show might just be too new. I think it’s down to Sedgwick and Falco, and though the sentimental factor might go in Falco’s favor, I see Sedgwick finally getting honored for her awesome work.

The Billboard Hot 100, 9-13-97

1. Mariah Carey “Honey”–While far from her most memorable single, this song announced Carey’s “emancipation” from former husband and Sony chairman Tommy Mottola as well as her entrance fully into the world of hip-hop. It also came with a slick video feauting the singer in a leather bathing suit and cameos by Puff Daddy and Mase. Underrated, and still with a deadly groove. B

2. Notorious B.I.G. Featuring Puff Daddy and Mase “Mo Money Mo Problems”–This song was played at a party I attended this past weekend and everyone hit the dance floor. Sampling Diana Ross is always a good choice. A

3. Backstreet Boys “Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)”–Oh the good old days of boy bands in their prime. Love them or hate them, there’s no doubt this is teen pop at its best. Today it serves more as a nostalgic reference than a hip classic, but don’t deny its melody. B+

4. LeAnn Rimes “How Do I Live”–A Diane Warren penned ballad in her prime. Rimes’ version was more pop than the country-tinged Trisha Yearwood recording that went on to win the Grammy, but it garnered far more sales. How I wish these type of ballads were still in style–spare us “Big Girls Don’t Cry.” B+

5. Spice Girls “2 Become 1″–I need someone like I never needed love before, I want to make love 2 ya baby, I had a little love, now I’m back for more, I wanna make love 2 ya baby–So obviously this song is still relevant in my life, but for the general populace? It gets a boost because the Spice Girls are reuniting for a 10-year anniversary tour. B

6. Usher “You Make Me Wanna”–Hip hop R&B at its finest. One forgets just how long Usher has been making big hits. One of Jermaine Dupri’s best productions. A-

7. Puff Daddy, etc. “I’ll Be Missing You”–Sentimental, slightly corny and maybe a little ridiculous–but absolutely fantastic. I would still turn on my cell phone and wave my arm in the air. B+

8. Third Eye Blind “Semi-Charmed Life”–Pop-rock has never been so deliciously catchy. If the song played right now, I bet you would know all the words. I bet you’re already singing it to yourself right now. Would be a hit on the radio today in no time. A-

9. Aqua “Barbie Girl”–Classic one-hit wonder. Might make you kill yourself. B-

10. Dru Hill “Never Make a Promise”–I don’t remember this song, but those who do tell me it’s not worth the time to look it up. C

In summary, the charts from ten years ago kick today’s charts up the butt.

Foolishness

1. Britney Spears–still pitiful. And I’m rooting for her too.

2. Alicia Keys–Covering George Michael is always a fabulous idea.

3. Nelly Furtado–blonde and beret? Mama like, mama like.

4. Timberland and JT-we know you guys are friends and make cool music together, but enough is enough.